Okay...so Diva got the solo....Now I can't but wonder if I had fought my nerves, would it have been different. Especially after our rehearsal tonight...very difficult to harmonize with such a wide vibrato!
Ethan's birthday continues to fill my mind. I can't help but wonder (analyze) if it has do with Erik's last year with us also. Am I feeling these feelings because in a short 6 months, we will be empty nesters? Or am I just beginning to feel the loss of my child. I know that He (God) is with me and that Ethan is with Him - how much more could a mother ask for?
I just know I miss him and the holidays...Christmas and Easter are especially difficult. But we must rejoice. Rejoice Always for Everything! A difficult but challenging thing to do!
Blessings and JOY!!!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Chamber Choir
Okay...solo try outs tonight...did make the (What do you call a group of twelve?) for the Ave Maria! Yeah....so wanted to try out for the Mary Had a Baby...but Diva went first and scared me to death! I am now kicking myself for not trying...oh well...life goes on!
Busy, busy week...2 nights this week leaving at 6:20AM and not returning until 10PM...do you think God could somehow figure out how to give an extra 8 hours so I - and several others I know - can sleep every night?!!
Even though we've already made it through a year...it seems even harder the 2nd time around without Ethan. His birthday is the 19th and I just can't seem to shake memories of him and the day and everything. As a crazy analytical person...wondering why? I made it fine the first time... Praying lots and crying lots...of course not a lot of time to do the latter because of an extremely busy schedule...the car drive to school and from school seems to be the most common!
And of course, life goes on otherwise! Erik got into a major fender bender with MY car on Halloween! I now have a rental car and hope to have my car back next week after we pay a $500.00 deductible and $170.00 ticket! As I said...life goes on!
But as always, we must rejoice always...Rejoice in the Lord always, Rejoice, I say Rejoice!
So...blessings and JOY to all!
Busy, busy week...2 nights this week leaving at 6:20AM and not returning until 10PM...do you think God could somehow figure out how to give an extra 8 hours so I - and several others I know - can sleep every night?!!
Even though we've already made it through a year...it seems even harder the 2nd time around without Ethan. His birthday is the 19th and I just can't seem to shake memories of him and the day and everything. As a crazy analytical person...wondering why? I made it fine the first time... Praying lots and crying lots...of course not a lot of time to do the latter because of an extremely busy schedule...the car drive to school and from school seems to be the most common!
And of course, life goes on otherwise! Erik got into a major fender bender with MY car on Halloween! I now have a rental car and hope to have my car back next week after we pay a $500.00 deductible and $170.00 ticket! As I said...life goes on!
But as always, we must rejoice always...Rejoice in the Lord always, Rejoice, I say Rejoice!
So...blessings and JOY to all!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Half Marathon
13.1 in 2:10....
Running is a spiritual experience - some would say religious but religious brings to mind institutions and that is not what I experienced today!
Today at mile 3 I was thanking God for being with me on this run...begging him to heal my knee or at least give me the strength to finish the race. Several times during the race, music I had placed on my mp3 gave me the strength to go another mile. I actually listened to Beethoven's 9th that the Chamber Choir sang in Muskegon! At one point I sang out Ver Gott! On a A while running a 9 minute mile! Quite a few heads turned...let me tell you! But I was so caught up in the music I couldn't not sing it!
Later - Lady came on. "Look around you, look up here, take time to make time, make time to be there!" Thank you God for that!
I thought of Ethan, Joe's mom, Jerry - best friend from high school that died in a car accident when I was 16- all them with God...Rejoicing in the heavens...
Hey...I can't believe I'm at mile 10 already! That's what happens when you run long distances. Your mind goes off and then you realize your still running!
Oh, I had lots of knee pain after the hills on Butterworth but once we made it back to town, I knew I would be okay! As I was running the last mile...Lean on Me came on...started singing out loud again - I'm sure people thought I was completely nuts - but several people who were walking started running again. Who knows if it was the song or just time for them to get running but it was cool.
2/10 of a mile to go..."Let's Get Ready to RUUUUUUUUMBLE!!!!" Great song to finish a race to!
Running the race of life...can't wait to cross the finish line into heaven!
Running is a spiritual experience - some would say religious but religious brings to mind institutions and that is not what I experienced today!
Today at mile 3 I was thanking God for being with me on this run...begging him to heal my knee or at least give me the strength to finish the race. Several times during the race, music I had placed on my mp3 gave me the strength to go another mile. I actually listened to Beethoven's 9th that the Chamber Choir sang in Muskegon! At one point I sang out Ver Gott! On a A while running a 9 minute mile! Quite a few heads turned...let me tell you! But I was so caught up in the music I couldn't not sing it!
Later - Lady came on. "Look around you, look up here, take time to make time, make time to be there!" Thank you God for that!
I thought of Ethan, Joe's mom, Jerry - best friend from high school that died in a car accident when I was 16- all them with God...Rejoicing in the heavens...
Hey...I can't believe I'm at mile 10 already! That's what happens when you run long distances. Your mind goes off and then you realize your still running!
Oh, I had lots of knee pain after the hills on Butterworth but once we made it back to town, I knew I would be okay! As I was running the last mile...Lean on Me came on...started singing out loud again - I'm sure people thought I was completely nuts - but several people who were walking started running again. Who knows if it was the song or just time for them to get running but it was cool.
2/10 of a mile to go..."Let's Get Ready to RUUUUUUUUMBLE!!!!" Great song to finish a race to!
Running the race of life...can't wait to cross the finish line into heaven!
Friday, October 16, 2009
39 hours and counting
The 1/2 marathon is Sunday morning. 8 AM. I am feeling nervous about not being able to finish because of injury and what will I do if I really do injure myself?
Then I tell myself I ran the 25k in May with only 10 miles under my belt...I can run 13.1. I just want this race to be done and my body back to the healing process!
I do love what running has done for my weight and shape and am not looking forward to the long winter without it.
I'm still debating if I should run the 25k again in May or just stick to 5k's. Also in the very recesses of my mind is the mantra: run a marathon...just one. But if I pay attention to the mantra I realize how utterly ridiculous that would be .... or not?
Praying God will provide an incredible run for me on Sunday - hopeful for 2:15 that's a little over a a 10 minute mile.
Then I tell myself I ran the 25k in May with only 10 miles under my belt...I can run 13.1. I just want this race to be done and my body back to the healing process!
I do love what running has done for my weight and shape and am not looking forward to the long winter without it.
I'm still debating if I should run the 25k again in May or just stick to 5k's. Also in the very recesses of my mind is the mantra: run a marathon...just one. But if I pay attention to the mantra I realize how utterly ridiculous that would be .... or not?
Praying God will provide an incredible run for me on Sunday - hopeful for 2:15 that's a little over a a 10 minute mile.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Better?
Okay...so this week was better...not so hectic.
Running is not going as planned! I had hoped to run the half-marathon course on Saturday. Ended up sleeping until 9AM...ate, laid around...finally got going at noon. Got out of my car at the Y and ...rain! Lovely! So I ran...thanks to the ArtPrize people who cheered me on - I made it to about mile 5 before my knee starting hurting - have had knee issues since Tuesday - thought maybe I could push it but decided I'd like to run in two weeks so walked/ran back to my car.
Today I went to Gazelle Sports and spent more money on a pair of shoes and inserts than I did on my groceries for the whole week! I'll try running again on Tuesday.
The race is Oct. 18...so I have some time but I really wanted to have 13 miles "under my belt" so I knew I could do it. The farthest I've run is 11. That will have to do unless I want to try for 12 on Saturday!
Oh, to have such trivial problems! Thank you, God, for your blessings!
Running is not going as planned! I had hoped to run the half-marathon course on Saturday. Ended up sleeping until 9AM...ate, laid around...finally got going at noon. Got out of my car at the Y and ...rain! Lovely! So I ran...thanks to the ArtPrize people who cheered me on - I made it to about mile 5 before my knee starting hurting - have had knee issues since Tuesday - thought maybe I could push it but decided I'd like to run in two weeks so walked/ran back to my car.
Today I went to Gazelle Sports and spent more money on a pair of shoes and inserts than I did on my groceries for the whole week! I'll try running again on Tuesday.
The race is Oct. 18...so I have some time but I really wanted to have 13 miles "under my belt" so I knew I could do it. The farthest I've run is 11. That will have to do unless I want to try for 12 on Saturday!
Oh, to have such trivial problems! Thank you, God, for your blessings!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Life in full swing
Wow! It has been an incredibly busy week! Today, Sunday, is a day that I am relishing in because I have nothing planned!!
An overview of the previous 7 days:
Sunday: Bridge Run at 8AM ran my best time 1:34:32
Worked in my classroom
Monday: Arrive at work at 6:30AM only able to drink liquids because of colonoscopy on Tues.
3pm - take 4 laxatives. 5pm - start drinking 8oz of miralax every 30 minutes until 64oz.
is drunk. 8pm - don't leave bathroom until midnight.
Tuesday: Arrive at work at 7:15AM leave at noon. Travel all over Grand Rapids for 2 hours hunting down books for bible study - only find 5 of needed 8.
Arrive at dr.'s office for colonoscopy at 2:15pm. Arrive home at 4:00pm sleep until 6:30 get up and eat and lay around. Bed at 10:30
Wednesday: Arrive at breakfast with friends at 6:30AM Work Arrive home at 3:15pm. Fix broken toilet handle and valve. Eat some protein and an apple and leave for GVSU class at 5:40pm. Return home at 9:15pm. Bed at 11.
Thursday: Arrive at Bible Study at 6:30AM. Work. Home at 3:15. Cook Dinner. Leave for Chamber Choir rehearsal in Muskegon at 4:45pm. Return home at 10:30pm. Bed.
Friday: Arrive at school for field trip at 8:30AM Get home from field trip at 11:30. Cook meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans for Jared and roommates - deliver food at 2pm. Leave for Chamber Choir performance at 6:15pm return home at 11:45pm. Bed.
Saturday: Arrive at Church for Praise singers rehearsal at 10AM leave at 11:30AM REST for a few hours. Leave for Chamber Choir performance at 6:15pm return home at 11:45pm. Bed.
Sunday (Today) Arrive at Church at 8:15AM Sing with Praise Singers, teach Sunday School, arrive home at 11:30AM. REST....REST....REST!
I truly look forward to a week that is not quite so busy and where I can actually cook more than one meal for my family!
An overview of the previous 7 days:
Sunday: Bridge Run at 8AM ran my best time 1:34:32
Worked in my classroom
Monday: Arrive at work at 6:30AM only able to drink liquids because of colonoscopy on Tues.
3pm - take 4 laxatives. 5pm - start drinking 8oz of miralax every 30 minutes until 64oz.
is drunk. 8pm - don't leave bathroom until midnight.
Tuesday: Arrive at work at 7:15AM leave at noon. Travel all over Grand Rapids for 2 hours hunting down books for bible study - only find 5 of needed 8.
Arrive at dr.'s office for colonoscopy at 2:15pm. Arrive home at 4:00pm sleep until 6:30 get up and eat and lay around. Bed at 10:30
Wednesday: Arrive at breakfast with friends at 6:30AM Work Arrive home at 3:15pm. Fix broken toilet handle and valve. Eat some protein and an apple and leave for GVSU class at 5:40pm. Return home at 9:15pm. Bed at 11.
Thursday: Arrive at Bible Study at 6:30AM. Work. Home at 3:15. Cook Dinner. Leave for Chamber Choir rehearsal in Muskegon at 4:45pm. Return home at 10:30pm. Bed.
Friday: Arrive at school for field trip at 8:30AM Get home from field trip at 11:30. Cook meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans for Jared and roommates - deliver food at 2pm. Leave for Chamber Choir performance at 6:15pm return home at 11:45pm. Bed.
Saturday: Arrive at Church for Praise singers rehearsal at 10AM leave at 11:30AM REST for a few hours. Leave for Chamber Choir performance at 6:15pm return home at 11:45pm. Bed.
Sunday (Today) Arrive at Church at 8:15AM Sing with Praise Singers, teach Sunday School, arrive home at 11:30AM. REST....REST....REST!
I truly look forward to a week that is not quite so busy and where I can actually cook more than one meal for my family!
Monday, August 3, 2009
Cancer
On face book there are several groups that you can join about cancer. Two of them I was invited to the last few days....Cancer Sucks and I Hate Cancer.
These titles started an internal struggle. Without cancer, we would not have met the most caring physicians, nurses, aids, child life specialists, maids, food service people..etc. Without cancer, we would have never known the incredible generosity of our friends, family, and complete strangers. With cancer, our faith has grown tremendously, beyond what I believed my faith could ever be. With cancer, I learned to live every day for the wonderful blessing that it is and be thankful for what I have that moment, that day. With cancer, I learned how to rely on God for strength and wisdom every moment of my life. With cancer, I watched my son go into the arms of Jesus. I was allowed to see the very edge of heaven.
For these reasons I cannot hate cancer. I cannot begin to say that it sucks. Cancer showed our family how to live. Cancer showed me God.
"Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell." Matthew 10:28
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34
These titles started an internal struggle. Without cancer, we would not have met the most caring physicians, nurses, aids, child life specialists, maids, food service people..etc. Without cancer, we would have never known the incredible generosity of our friends, family, and complete strangers. With cancer, our faith has grown tremendously, beyond what I believed my faith could ever be. With cancer, I learned to live every day for the wonderful blessing that it is and be thankful for what I have that moment, that day. With cancer, I learned how to rely on God for strength and wisdom every moment of my life. With cancer, I watched my son go into the arms of Jesus. I was allowed to see the very edge of heaven.
For these reasons I cannot hate cancer. I cannot begin to say that it sucks. Cancer showed our family how to live. Cancer showed me God.
"Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell." Matthew 10:28
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34
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