Forgiveness

Joe and I spoke at a church on Sunday about our faith life through out Ethan's cancer journey. It was emotional but also good to tell other's about the incredible love of Christ. Several people came up to us afterwards and asked for prayers for their journey. It was a neat experience.

Saturday, however, was a little tougher for me. Joe told me that he and the boys were going to get tattoos in memory of Ethan, even though I had voiced my very negative opinion on tattoos. I was extremely hurt and angry that my opinion meant nothing to them. I later learned that all of his family knew all about it and had "covered" for him. I really felt betrayed and lied to.
After praying for guidance, I was reminded that pride is a sin and that mostly that was what was hurting - my pride. So after 3 days of being upset and trying to figure out how to even look at the tattoos without feeling that betrayal and truly honoring the meaning behind them. I have been given the gift of forgiveness. I don't like how the anger and resentment feels. So I'm forgiving them and will try so hard to look at the tattoos as memorials to Ethan even though they are huge and not at all what I would consider a memorial. Every one grieves in their own way and I need to respect that.

"Turn to me and have mercy on me, as you always do to those who love your name. Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me. Redeem me from the oppression of men, that I may obey your precepts. Make your face shine upon your servant and teach me your decrees." Psalm 119: 132-135