Thoughts

It's Confirmation Sunday at church next week. Tonight I went and watched the confirmands give their profession of faith. It was wonderful to hear how God has worked in them and how deeply rooted their faith is. This is the year Ethan would have been confirmed. It was bittersweet to hear his friend say that having faith means you're not afraid to die that death doesn't mean it's over.
I've not had the feelings of this "would of have been" about Ethan until this last week. I'm not sure if Erik graduating is bringing it on or if I am just so overwhelmed that I am allowing those thoughts to occur. I don't like them, I don't like the pain associated with them and when they happen I pray that God take them away and I tell Satan to get behind me. It's so easy to be sucked in by grief, so easy to wallow in the pain and the suffering, so easy that Satan brings it every moment he can.

I know that Ethan's life was supposed to be exactly what it was and I know that I will see him again in heaven. There's no need for me to think about the would's or should's because in my mind, it happened the way it was supposed to.

"I will not boast in anything, no gifts, no power no wisdom. But I will boast in Jesus Christ, his death and resurrection." lyrics from "How Deep the Father's Love for Us" by Stuart Townsend.