I have spent the last day and a half reading Ethan's 5 1/2 year journey that I wrote about on carepages. I loved reading Ethan's story again. It was like he was alive again....I could hear him talking, laughing, being angry, crying, all of it and it was such a wonderful thing to be able to have those memories come to life for me.It was a bittersweet read, and one that left me in awe of how much my faith grew and how God carried us all through that time.
To be honest, I have been in a dry patch with God lately. I know He is there always, walking beside me, loving me, guiding me.....but over the past several months I have felt distant from Him.
I heard from several different sources that when this happens, it's not God who is distant, it's me. So I dove into daily devotions, reading my bible daily, prayer, you name it, I did it. Some days I would feel His presence; other days not so much.
I felt His presence the most when I was worshiping. It was overwhelmingly peaceful and joyful....to the point that I didn't want to leave. Then God reminded me that my body is the temple; the Holy Spirit resides in me and I can worship, be filled with peace and joy, all the time. But life gets in the way, because I allow it to. When I am at church I focus completely and solely on God, when I leave the building I allow the little things to pull my attention away from Him.
As I read through the carepages, I noticed that even with life pulling my attention away, I was still focusing on God and giving everything to Him, thanking Him for everything....I have stopped doing that.
So today, I will begin anew to put God first, to remember to thank Him for everything - good and bad, to call on Him throughout the day.
This journey we call life continues and I have experienced it firsthand with the love, peace, and joy that God offers to those who put Him first and also without putting Him first and just getting through everyday....I prefer the former and will continue to strive for that.
