I ran the 10K in the Reeds Lake Run today. Thanked God this morning for cool air...but then for some strange reason the organizers of the run had the 10kers running at 8:45AM and the 5kers at 8!!
So by the time 8:45 rolled around it was already 75 and hot!! The run around the lake was pretty much in the shade but the last 2 or 3 miles were obnoxious. I did dump water over my head whenever there was a water station and ran through every sprinkler that was going but it wasn't enough!
I really wanted to finish it in 58 minutes....1:02:50...bummer. Oh, well...at least I finished and I didn't keel over at the end!
The next race isn't until September now....10 MILES - the Bridge Run. Ran it last year and finished in 1:40, I think. I'm hopeful to shave a minute or two off the time...we'll see.
I saw lots of pink shirts for Milan. Milan is a little girl that died of brain cancer and they formed this group that raises money for pediatric brain tumor research. There were probably 20 to 30 people running today. I wore my E shirt - a tank top today - but have been thinking about trying to raise money either for Child Life at Helen DeVos or brain research. We already have the memorial fund set up at the hospital so that would be easy. What kind of fundraiser is the next question and how does one go about starting it all!
Food for thought.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Summer
Summer has arrived! I am enjoying my days off while reading on the deck, playing with new recipes, lingering over memories of last summer, and just loving not having any responsibility!
This Sunday marks the first time in 7 years I won't be driving Ethan down to Camp Catch a Rainbow. It's a camp for kids with cancer outside of Jackson, MI. Ethan loved it and if you remember last year, we were in-patient with meningitis and tumor growth. Ethan was up on Sunday morning with his camp shirt on waiting for the docs to give the go ahead for camp! They did...God bless them! He had a couple of rough days before the pain meds were evened out but he came home with that glorious smile and content!
We got the news a couple of days before camp that he would have less than 6 months with us. His time for fighting was over. It was a difficult thing to hear but we knew in our hearts that God's ultimate plan was about to be unfolded before us.
So I am enjoying all the memories of last summer....the total joy we felt - not sadness - of spending time with our boy!
This Sunday some of Ethan's ashes will be at Camp Catch a Rainbow with a special friend of ours who plans to spread them on Stony Lake early in the morning. They used to fish early in the morning on that lake.
Even though tears are streaming down my face as I post this...I know that Ethan is in such a wonderful place...that he lived the life God intended him to live to the fullest. On Sept. 8 I'm pretty sure he ran into Jesus' arms with that incredible smile of his!
Thank you God for your gracious love and mercy... give my boy a hug a kiss for me!
This Sunday marks the first time in 7 years I won't be driving Ethan down to Camp Catch a Rainbow. It's a camp for kids with cancer outside of Jackson, MI. Ethan loved it and if you remember last year, we were in-patient with meningitis and tumor growth. Ethan was up on Sunday morning with his camp shirt on waiting for the docs to give the go ahead for camp! They did...God bless them! He had a couple of rough days before the pain meds were evened out but he came home with that glorious smile and content!
We got the news a couple of days before camp that he would have less than 6 months with us. His time for fighting was over. It was a difficult thing to hear but we knew in our hearts that God's ultimate plan was about to be unfolded before us.
So I am enjoying all the memories of last summer....the total joy we felt - not sadness - of spending time with our boy!
This Sunday some of Ethan's ashes will be at Camp Catch a Rainbow with a special friend of ours who plans to spread them on Stony Lake early in the morning. They used to fish early in the morning on that lake.
Even though tears are streaming down my face as I post this...I know that Ethan is in such a wonderful place...that he lived the life God intended him to live to the fullest. On Sept. 8 I'm pretty sure he ran into Jesus' arms with that incredible smile of his!
Thank you God for your gracious love and mercy... give my boy a hug a kiss for me!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Thoughts
It's been a while since I posted. I am finding it difficult to write to this blog. It was much easier to post to carepages because I felt I had a purpose in getting the information about Ethan to all the people that were supporting us with prayer.
This is different. This blog is just me going on about life in general. The purpose seems to be selfish.
So I'm trying to make it unselfish in my mind!
Next Saturday, Joe and I and several friends will be doing a fundraiser for Gilda's club. It should be fun but I also know deep in the recesses of my heart that it will be heart wrenching too. Some days it is just too hard to look into people's eyes that have known Ethan. I see their sorrow and pain and know there is nothing I can do to relieve it. That's what hurts the most. I know Ethan is dancing in the heavens but I miss him especially when I'm with others who miss him too.
I'm trying to adjust to the quietness of the house, no hospital visits, no special outings, no school events, no sitting in carpool. I think for the most part I have adjusted. I keep reminding myself that just like everything else on this life journey, this is a new normal and God is with me here with Ethan standing beside him.
During this lenten season, I feel even closer to God. For God so loved the world, he gave his only begotten son. When you lose a child, you get just a hint of this love. I told Ethan just before he died that Jesus loved him so much more than I did and that heaven was waiting for him. Gramma, Aunt KD, and friends he had known that died were all there too.
I often picture Ethan playing football, soccer, baseball, you name it and I hear him telling me how wonderful it is there and that I was right.
Some days I want to be with him and I ask God how much longer before we're together again. The response is always the same: I'm not done with you yet.
So I continue on, praying for peace and strength to do God's will knowing that when it is my time; my son will be waiting to show me the awesomeness of God.
This is different. This blog is just me going on about life in general. The purpose seems to be selfish.
So I'm trying to make it unselfish in my mind!
Next Saturday, Joe and I and several friends will be doing a fundraiser for Gilda's club. It should be fun but I also know deep in the recesses of my heart that it will be heart wrenching too. Some days it is just too hard to look into people's eyes that have known Ethan. I see their sorrow and pain and know there is nothing I can do to relieve it. That's what hurts the most. I know Ethan is dancing in the heavens but I miss him especially when I'm with others who miss him too.
I'm trying to adjust to the quietness of the house, no hospital visits, no special outings, no school events, no sitting in carpool. I think for the most part I have adjusted. I keep reminding myself that just like everything else on this life journey, this is a new normal and God is with me here with Ethan standing beside him.
During this lenten season, I feel even closer to God. For God so loved the world, he gave his only begotten son. When you lose a child, you get just a hint of this love. I told Ethan just before he died that Jesus loved him so much more than I did and that heaven was waiting for him. Gramma, Aunt KD, and friends he had known that died were all there too.
I often picture Ethan playing football, soccer, baseball, you name it and I hear him telling me how wonderful it is there and that I was right.
Some days I want to be with him and I ask God how much longer before we're together again. The response is always the same: I'm not done with you yet.
So I continue on, praying for peace and strength to do God's will knowing that when it is my time; my son will be waiting to show me the awesomeness of God.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Happy New Year!
We have had a wonderful Christmas season! We - especially me - enjoyed tons of snow! The picture of our deck was taken the Friday before Christmas by Christmas Eve the snow was up to bottom rail!
Christmas Eve service at our church was incredible. Jared spent the night at our house on Christmas Eve and Joe and I had to wake the boys up at 7:30 Christmas morning to open presents!Joe's brother's family came over for Christmas dinner. We all had a wonderful meal and great day just hanging out and playing games.
On December 28, 2008, Joe was baptized at Immanuel Lutheran! It was a great baptism officiated by Pastor Otto - the same pastor that baptized Erik and Ethan and also officiated Ethan's funeral. It was a great day! Joe's sponsors held a brunch at their house in Joe's honor. We all had a wonderful time!
New Year's Eve was spent at my brother's house with friends and family. Lots of food, Rock Band, and we didn't leave until 2 AM!! It's been a long time since we stayed up so late! Jared and Erik spent New Year's in Harbor Springs with friends so for the first time in a long time, Joe and I have the house completely to ourselves for a few days! Empty nesting preview...we're already thinking what in the world do we do before we had kids?! And what do we do now?
So here we are in 2009...I don't think much will change in our day to day lives - besides having no clinic visits, mri's, etc. We will still continue to thank God everyday for all that we have. We look forward to what God has in store for us and wish peace and blessings on all of you.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
The Sunday before Christmas....hard to believe!
We have been enjoying some incredible snow fall - perhaps enjoying is not the right word for everyone at our house - I'm enjoying it!
The Christmas Season has been good so far. Not a lot of sadness...but such incredible joy bursting forth because of the birth of a Savior!
Our choir sang at church today and I can't tell you the joy that just seems to emanate from my heart when we are singing - Every Valley will be exalted; and every mountain made low - plus all the great hymns that are sung at this time of year...it's hard not to be joyful!
I'm on vacation now and have a list of things to get done over the next two weeks - mostly de-cluttering! We plan to spend Christmas at our house this year with Joe's brother's family coming and then spend New Year's with my brother's family.
May God Bless all of you this season with an open and joyful heart!
We have been enjoying some incredible snow fall - perhaps enjoying is not the right word for everyone at our house - I'm enjoying it!
The Christmas Season has been good so far. Not a lot of sadness...but such incredible joy bursting forth because of the birth of a Savior!
Our choir sang at church today and I can't tell you the joy that just seems to emanate from my heart when we are singing - Every Valley will be exalted; and every mountain made low - plus all the great hymns that are sung at this time of year...it's hard not to be joyful!
I'm on vacation now and have a list of things to get done over the next two weeks - mostly de-cluttering! We plan to spend Christmas at our house this year with Joe's brother's family coming and then spend New Year's with my brother's family.
May God Bless all of you this season with an open and joyful heart!
Monday, December 1, 2008
Snow Day
Ahh...the joys of being a teacher! You still get to have that childish feeling of a snow day!! Erik was little jealous that he did have school today and I didn't.
Our weekend was wonderful. We had a great time with family - 15 of us in a small 3 bedroom, one bath house! It was great!
We did not make the trip over to Canada on Friday as planned. The weather was too iffy and we just didn't want to risk it. So we will make the trip in the spring.
The Christmas decorations will come out today and we will begin our advent season. It's always been such a beautiful and emotional holiday for me. I get so caught up in the unconditional love that God has for us. That he would create his own son to save us from ourselves - incredible. I don't think I've made it through a christmas eve service without at least one tear of joy.
I'm off to shovel snow and decorate!
Our weekend was wonderful. We had a great time with family - 15 of us in a small 3 bedroom, one bath house! It was great!
We did not make the trip over to Canada on Friday as planned. The weather was too iffy and we just didn't want to risk it. So we will make the trip in the spring.
The Christmas decorations will come out today and we will begin our advent season. It's always been such a beautiful and emotional holiday for me. I get so caught up in the unconditional love that God has for us. That he would create his own son to save us from ourselves - incredible. I don't think I've made it through a christmas eve service without at least one tear of joy.
I'm off to shovel snow and decorate!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Thanksgiving
Tomorrow morning we journey up to the Soo to enjoy family at my niece's house! We are so looking forward to spending time together with everyone again.
On Friday, we plan to drive to Camp Bil-O-Wood to spread Ethan's ashes over the lake. It will be bittersweet.
We know that Ethan is not in those ashes but the thoughts are there that again we will be saying goodbye or at least see you soon. Thoughts of him have flooded my mind lately - we had a lovely snow that was perfect for snowmen and I remembered how he begged to make them everytime it snowed. Pumpkin pie was his favorite - he asked for it year round - and when I helped the kids at school make them it was bittersweet. I just took the Chex Mix out of the oven - Ethan always wanted to help make it and eat it! Good memories...lovely thoughts....parting IS such sweet sorrow.
I often think that Ethan is having the time of his life in heaven - enjoying it with as much gusto as he did life on Earth. We are so happy for his gain but sometimes are sad for our loss. I can only imagine the love that we will feel when we enter heaven will make the sadness seem so small and insignificant - a drop of water compared to the ocean!
We are thankful for life, for home, family, food, health, happiness, and joy this season. Even without Ethan here, we are so blessed. We are blessed that he is no longer suffering, that we no longer await the MRI's and doctor's appointments with anxiety and dread, that he is transformed and living with the Holy One - waiting for us to come! Praise God for that!
On Friday, we plan to drive to Camp Bil-O-Wood to spread Ethan's ashes over the lake. It will be bittersweet.
We know that Ethan is not in those ashes but the thoughts are there that again we will be saying goodbye or at least see you soon. Thoughts of him have flooded my mind lately - we had a lovely snow that was perfect for snowmen and I remembered how he begged to make them everytime it snowed. Pumpkin pie was his favorite - he asked for it year round - and when I helped the kids at school make them it was bittersweet. I just took the Chex Mix out of the oven - Ethan always wanted to help make it and eat it! Good memories...lovely thoughts....parting IS such sweet sorrow.
I often think that Ethan is having the time of his life in heaven - enjoying it with as much gusto as he did life on Earth. We are so happy for his gain but sometimes are sad for our loss. I can only imagine the love that we will feel when we enter heaven will make the sadness seem so small and insignificant - a drop of water compared to the ocean!
We are thankful for life, for home, family, food, health, happiness, and joy this season. Even without Ethan here, we are so blessed. We are blessed that he is no longer suffering, that we no longer await the MRI's and doctor's appointments with anxiety and dread, that he is transformed and living with the Holy One - waiting for us to come! Praise God for that!
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