4 years....the time we spend in high school.....the time a college attributes to a bachelor's degree....the age when children continually ask the question why.
It's been 4 years since Ethan died. 4 years ago I was sitting in an immense hospital room gazing at my son, knowing that I would never hear him speak again, that he would not open his eyes and look at me, that it was time for me to say goodbye.
Our pastor stopped by to say a blessing and sang a beautiful lullaby to Ethan..I stood alongside and wept silently...even though Ethan was 12...almost 13, death meant no more lullabies for me, no more hugs and kisses goodnight, no more saying...."Just go to bed"...
I prayed with Pastor and we said our goodnights....I was left alone with this child that God had blessed me with....that God had entrusted to me....and now it was time to say goodbye....time to return him to his Heavenly Father.
The same Heavenly Father who held both of us that night....who stayed by our sides....weeping with me and encouraging Ethan....quietly telling both of us that all would be well....
I am so thankful for the time that we were blessed with Ethan's soul....were they always good times and laughter? No....Was I a perfect parent? No....just ask my other two sons!! Was Ethan a perfect child? No...again...ask the sons!! But we did have a perfect Father that we entrusted our lives to and because of that...He walked through the valley of the shadow of death with us...Ethan came out on one side and we came out on the other. Oh, Death, where is thy sting???
So thankful for angels singing, for beauty beyond description, for indescribable joy on September 8, 2008 at 10:10am....
4 years...seems like yesterday.
1 comment:
Still think of you often...
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