Running

Who would have guessed that a 5 year anniversary would have such an effect on me. September 8, 2013 will be 5 years since Ethan died. April 7 was 10 years since diagnosis; June will mark the prognosis of 6 months left to live, the Riverbank run will mark 5 years since my first 5k race.
I got back into running in January of 2008, Ethan had just had another relapse and I was looking for a way to relieve stress so I could be a better Mom. My brother Mark was a runner and talked me into running and training for a 5k; his wife Monica joined me in training. We trained separately but it was good to know that she was out there trying to run too. I ran that 5k for Ethan because I felt like running was the only thing I could do for him - I couldn't take his cancer away, I couldn't take the side effects away, I could just be there for him and in order to do that I needed to be my best.
I prayed him and our family a lot and I ran. Ethan was so impressed with me running! He would marvel at the distance I could run because he couldn't run - he let me use his mp3 player so I could listen to music while I ran - I still have that playlist.
The year after Ethan died, I tried to train for the 25k at Riverbank - was sick a lot and didn't get much training in....the Monday before the race I went out and ran 10 miles and decided that if my son could fight cancer for 5 1/2 years; I could run 15 miles. I ran it. I was tired, sore and exhilarated at the finish - broke down and cried for a few minutes too. I've run the 25k ever since...this year I have been sick a lot and not able to train like I wanted; I got in a 10 miler few weeks ago and have only been  able to do 8 since then. On Saturday, I will run the 25k....because it's the only thing I can do for my son now. I can run listening to his playlist, I can wear the E shirt we had made after he died, and I can cross the finish line tired, sore and exhilarated - praising God for sacrificing His Son so mine could live, dance and praise Him eternally.
This song says it all for me