Ethan's Funraiser

We have decided to start raising money for different organizations in honor of Ethan! We're calling them Funraisers!

The first one will be for We Do Care. A local organization that gives to children with cancer. They were very kind to Ethan and we just want to give back a little!

I've created an event on facebook - sorry if you are getting this twice - so just click on the link below and it should take you to it!

Ethan's Funraiser for We Do Care

Basically, I'm running the 25k at the Riverbank on May 8 and the Bayshore Marathon in Traverse City on May 29 in honor of Ethan. I'm asking for donations to We Do Care in his name. We're hopeful to give them $1000.00!

You can send checks or money orders to We Do Care 759 Hachmuth Drive Comstock Park, Michigan 49321. They are a non-profit organization.

We are doing well and are learning to live with Ethan's memory instead of him. Some days are better than others, but we know that he is doing the dance of joy with Jesus and we can hardly wait to see him again!

I'll leave you with a photo I found of him on his first day of school in 2006 - heading off to 5th grade! My sweet boy! How I love him!!

The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. Hebrews 11:1 MSG version

Chamber concert

Chamber Choir concert was Sunday. It went really well and I thoroughly enjoyed singing in it. It is such a group of talented people that sometimes I think I'm not worthy to be in it!

So one thing down, two to go. My grad class finishes in about 3 weeks and the marathon is 9 weeks off. I just signed up for my summer grad classes - one meets on Mon. & Wed. from May til the end of June - 6 - 9:30pm...yikes!

There is rest coming with spring break! Once we make it to Easter Sunday afternoon...then I have a full week with nothing but running scheduled! Looking forward to spring cleaning and good will giving!

I can do this?

My life has suddenly become...."aaaaaahhhhh" (can you hear me screaming and trying to hold on).

I have no idea what I was thinking when I planned this semester out:
Monday: 5:30am rise work til 3 tutor til 4 teach a parenting class from 6:30 - 8pm
Tuesday: 6:30 rise work til 3 Chamber choir 7:30 - 9:30pm
Wednesday: 5:30 rise work til 3 Master Class 6:00 - 8:50pm
Thursday:5:30 rise Bible Study 6:30 work til 3:00 tutor til 4:00 Church choir 7:00 -8:30
Friday: 6:30 rise work til 3 dinner and fun with family til 11pm
Saturday: rest, rest, rest Dinner with family and fun til 11pm
Sunday: 7:00 rise Church til 11:30am school at 3:00 til 4:00

Now you also have to add into this: grocery shopping, training for a marathon - long runs on Saturdays, the Masters class has a 20 hour out of classroom instruction requirement and 10 hours of assessment not to mention the writing involved. Some how find time to be loving and valuable to my family!

What was I thinking? I was thinking that Chamber choir is done at the end of March, the Masters class is done at the end of April and the Marathon is at the end of May. You can do this...

skunks and cancer

I went to Gilda's grief group tonight...I haven't been in ages but I knew I needed to be with people who would readily talk about "dead kids". You might think this group is all about crying and sadness but it is not. We truly laugh about some things and we share deep dark emotions that people who have not had a child die would understand. We are all at different stages of grief and we all experience grief differently but we do indeed grieve.
Tonight the discussion centered around "the elephant in the room" phenomenon that happens at holiday gatherings or any gathering for people who have experienced a death in the family. It reminded me of a time when our beloved dog - not so beloved when this happened - was sprayed by a skunk at 6:30 in the morning before a school day. Jared was in high school, Erik in Junior High and Ethan elementary and fighting cancer. When the dog came inside from his morning constitutional it was all too apparent that he was sprayed. We tried desperately to leave the house quickly so as to assume the stench. Alas, it was not to be so. All three children reported at the end of the day how horrible it was to be at school - Erik actually was taken to the office and given a "loaner uniform" in hopes of reducing the stench. Jared reported it was his worst day ever! I actually had children at school look at me funny but not say a word even though they knew it was me that was stinking the place up! Ethan and I had an appointment at Mary Free Bed to review his physical agility from Chemotherapy afterschool that same day. When we arrived, you could tell everyone knew we smelled but nobody said a word. It wasn't until our doctor came in and acknowleged that she too had experienced a dog being sprayed by a skunk that someone sympathized with our situtation.
Cancer and now death of a loved one is a lot like that. People around us know what we are going through but they don't want to talk about it for fear of embarrasing us or saying what is obviously true.
As one who has experienced cancer, death of a loved one, and being sprayed by a skunk - 3 times- I am hear to tell you. We want to talk about it, to share our misery, our joy, our laughter over the situation. To know that you love us enough to say - do you know you stink?

2010

Wow! A new year....what we expect to happen in 2010:

• Erik graduating from high school
• Erik starting college
• Jared returning to College
• me completing my Master's in Reading - finally
• Joe gaining full time employment
• My school gaining full (at least 30) enrollment
• Joe and I celebrating 25 years of marriage
• me finishing my first marathon
• organizing the first annual fundraiser in Ethan's memory for Child Life at Helen DeVos Children's Hospital
  

As we all know there's the plan and then there's what really happens! I'm also hoping to rely more fully God, to ask for His will to be done everyday in my life - not mine!

"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:3-6

Sounds of Christmas

Wow! Just finished the last Chamber Choir rehearsal before the concert and it was fabulous! There are a few songs I need to work on before Saturday night but WOW...it will be wonderful!

Ethan's birthday came and went. We didn't really do anything as a family because it was so busy that day. We all talked about him and loved him through out last week. At church on Sunday, I was asked to sing "I can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me. After a lot of tweaking, we were able to get it so it sounded good! Sunday Pastor let us know that we would know it would be time to sing when a picture of Jesus was flashed up. The picture he chose to flash up was the same picture we used on Ethan's memorial cards at his funeral. The only thing I thought was ... you can't think about this right now! You have to sing! So I did and I guess did pretty well because I received several compliments afterwards! The Glory goes all to God who gave me the gift of a singing voice! Thank you to a great voice teacher who helped hone it!

If you get a chance, the Chamber Choir Concert is this weekend. Saturday at 7:30pm and Sunday at 3pm at St. Adalbert's on 4th and Davis in Grand Rapids. Tickets are sold at the door - $20 general, $18 Seniors and $10 Students. There is a $2.00 coupon in The Grand Rapids Press on Thanksgiving day.

Done with my sales pitch! Happy Thanksgiving! I'm so thankful for my Lord and Saviour! Without Him, I would not exist.

Chamber Choir II

Okay...so Diva got the solo....Now I can't but wonder if I had fought my nerves, would it have been different. Especially after our rehearsal tonight...very difficult to harmonize with such a wide vibrato!

Ethan's birthday continues to fill my mind. I can't help but wonder (analyze) if it has do with Erik's last year with us also. Am I feeling these feelings because in a short 6 months, we will be empty nesters? Or am I just beginning to feel the loss of my child. I know that He (God) is with me and that Ethan is with Him - how much more could a mother ask for?

I just know I miss him and the holidays...Christmas and Easter are especially difficult. But we must rejoice. Rejoice Always for Everything! A difficult but challenging thing to do!

Blessings and JOY!!!