Ethan's mp3 player is broken. It plays only if you hold it a certain way. Something is rattling around inside it which wasn't before. Now, I know that nowadays we go through electronics like water. It shouldn't be a big deal that his little Sansa Clip that cost me all of $40 3 years ago should be upsetting me. I will go and buy another Sansa Clip just because it's small and great for what I need. BUT it's not just the mp3 player...it's memories of him listening to it and sharing the earphones with anyone that would listen! Those memories are not leaving me either of course. So why sadness? I'm not down in the dumps depressed but I'm just upset that somehow I broke this piece of him and now I have to replace it with something he never had. Strange how the mind works. It's just a stupid mp3 player....
Somewhere in the bible it tells us that wherever our heart is, that is where our treasure will be. So I will be placing my heart in heaven with Christ and Ethan and not in some tiny mp3 player. My treasure is waiting for me to arrive and I can hardly wait for the day!
2 comments:
Thinking of this and how you feel has made me come to a possibly strange conclusion.... Instead of a broken piece of Ethan and a now sad memory, Ethan has moved on from earthly attachments and bids us to do the same. I just picture his joyful face and know that the music is within him now! Ah, don't pay attention to me, maybe I'm just nutty:)
Hey Jen, I totally get this conversation. I went through a lot of stuff of my brothers in the past month. So many memories and some of them were simply old mcdonalds toys we had gotten when we were little. Things like that will never leave us. It can be both a blessing and a curse. I think about you guys often...hope we get to talk again soon! - Love, Katie Buist
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